From my heart to yours

Archive for March 2011

I finally did it! I am now officially a natural hair wearing girl!! And I am so happy! I litterally feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel liberated and free.

Natural ME!

It is amazing how distorted my perception of my hair was. I thought that my natural hair was this ugly, nappy,  jungle of knots and tangles that would never be tamed. Turns out, my hair is beautiful natural. Its curly, not nappy and it’s not a jungle of knots and tangles but is actually very manageable. I think that I will actually be able to handle being natural. And what’s funny is that no one in my family, myself included, knew that my hair is naturally curly. Turns out, my hair is almost exactly the same texture as my mom’s. And now that it is short, I look so much like her.

The cut was met mostly with compliments and praise, some from my fellow natural friends, some from friends who are regular relaxers and some who are not black at all. There was some opposition of course, though. My own little brother said “so….you’re gonna let it grow back right?” and another friend asked “where is all of your hair?” Im still trying to read my grandmother who seemed to say it was a nice cut with a bit of a tone. And my aunt who apparently told my nana it was a shame that all of my long beautiful hair is gone. The funniest reaction though was from my granddaddy who upon seeing me said “oh you got you hair done.” Followed by him doing a double take and yelling, “Oh my God! Oh my God! You cut all your hair off! Betty! Betty! Betty come here! Oh my God!” All of this was said as he retreated from me as if I punched him in the gut. SMH is my only response to all of the extraness that was my granddaddy in that moment who is normally the strong, silent type.

And as usual, I must also say my own pros and cons about my hair. I am happy to have such a low maintenance hair style. And I am loving having healthy hair. I am appreciating learning about my hair and because it is starting short I will get to explore new and different ways to style my hair. The cons, I can’t wear hats, I’m gonna have to always be on point with the eyebrows, makeup, earrings and cute headpieces. And I must say that I do miss my long hair a bit. It kept my hands busy when I was talking to cute boys. It blew in the breeze when I drove with the windows down or went for  runs, walks (who am I kidding, I don’t run anywhere except in my dreams) on the beach. And sadly I will no longer be able to whip my hair back and forth like little Miss Willow Smith…although this is probably a good thing, as I will no longer have to wake up with neck pains after a night out.

The bottom line and my own lesson learned is that natural hair and relaxed hair are both beautiful.

I'm not quite here yet, but I am happy that I finally gave it a try

So it’s a process, and it is beginning with this first challenge: finding products that make my hair soft and keep it conditioned. Suggestions are welcome, especially if I can get a sample size of the product. Originally, I was gonna set ground rules for myself about how long I would have to keep my hair natural before deciding that I hate it. But I don’t think I need those anymore, because for once I don’t feel like I’m having a fight with my hair. I am very excited for it to get longer so that I can actually play with different styles, but for now I’m just taking it easy and enjoying the extra 10-15 minutes that I’ve gained in my morning routine!

Too Cute!

I have been thinkin about writing this post for a while, but haven’t wanted to because I didn’t want to upset anybody or piss anybody off. But after a series of recent annoyances I don’t really care about it anymore, cause I’m tired of being the one who is upset. I’m gonna say this now: If you are upset or pissed or feel some type of way at all, then you’re probably guilty. And if you’re one of my friends, understand that I love you, but I’m so tired of this shit.

So here goes:

Yes I am FAT! OBESE! Whatever you want to call it. I know this. You know this. My momma and my daddy know it and so does Joe Blow who lives on the corner. What I don’t know or understand is why it is any of YOUR business. I am so sick and tired of people who have never had a weight problem being so judgemental of those of us who do. And the crazy thing about it to me is this: when someone has anorexia or an alcohol problem or a drug problem or some type of mental illness, people are scared to say anything to them and walk around on eggshells. But if someone is fat they literally are fair game for any and everyone. Nevermind what underlying diseases and/or mental problems they may have. I understand that a lot of you believe that all fat people are fat because they are lazy, but that is not always the case. There are many possible causes of obesity, do your research before you judge.

And here’s another tip. If you have a fat friend don’t make fun of other fat people in front of them. It’s only going to make them feel worse about themselves. I cannot tell y’all how I am so close to closing my Twitter and Facebook just because I’m so tired of seeing this happen. If that’s how you feel about fat people then that’s how you feel about me and telling me that you love me cause I’m your friend won’t make me feel any better, trust me.

Oh and here’s another thing. Don’t offer advice to us if we don’t ask you for it. Why? Because you don’t know SHIT about my problems! I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Have 1 conversation about obesity and suddenly everyone is an expert. I’ve had a random woman walk up to me in the parking lot of my gym telling me about a diet pill I should take. Oh and the man that held the door open for me on my way out of the gym, told me exactly how my workout sessions should go. And my favorite, the random lady who approached me in the locker room as I was changing my bra and asked me how much weight I want to lose before telling me how to lose it!

Seriously people?! This is out of hand! You can’t tell me what will work for me because you are not me. Sure you can tell me the general principles of weight loss, I know those too: Exercise keeping your heart rate between 135-145 for more than 30 minutes to burn fat. Do weight lifting exercises to gain muscles and help burn the fat quicker. Eat 5-6 small meals a day to quicken your metabolism. Thanks for that wonderful information, now can you tell me how to deal with the fact that I can’t eat when it’s convenient for me because my grandparents judge everything I eat? Can you explain to me why I don’t feel the positive aspects of exercise like elevated mood and feelings of success that everyone else feels? Oh and here’s a good one, can you tell me how to eat a perfectly balanced diet, while exercising and dealing with all of the problems that I’ve had with my weight for the past 15 years? No? So then why are we having this conversation?

Oh and while I’m at, shoutout to the cashier at the Publix who felt it was necessary to give me commentary on my groceries. Thanks for letting me know that the candy in my basket isn’t healthy. Guess the fact that I only ate 2 pieces of it doesn’t matter to you.

Here’s the bottom line folks: Don’t make fun of fat people around me or your fat friends. I’m tired of holding my tongue, so I’m not going to anymore. I will call you out on it and make you feel just as uncomfortable as I do when you say it. And for anyone who is not friends with me. If you make fun of fat people in front of your fat friends and they just smile or laugh and go along with the joke, it’s not because they are ok with it, trust me. They might just feel uncomfortable about speaking up for themselves. And seriously guys, if you’re not asked for help then don’t comment on my weight, what I’m eating or my exercise regimen. Cause that’s not gonna make me feel any better either. As a matter of fact, if I don’t bring up my weight then there’s no reason for you to be worried about it at all. if you are so concerned about my weight, then have a conversation with me about why its a problem, I have no problem talking about it to people who ask. It’s better than feeling like I’m being judged.

And for your information: Yes I’m angry. Maybe I’m bitter. No I’m not just being sensitive.